5 Steps to a Happier Marriage
Marriage isn’t always easy; anyone who is married will tell you that. But, why is it so difficult? Why can’t some people be happy with the man or woman that they promised to love, honor and obey (or some other version of the wedding vows) in front of their family and friends?
The reasons can be rather complex. Sometimes people just choose the wrong partner. Their personalities or values aren’t compatible, and there will never be a way to stay with each other without serious conflict. In these extreme cases it’s probably best they go their separate ways.
But what if it’s not that serious? What if the couple are just bored with each other after being married for some years? What if daily routine and pressures of work are the reasons for discontent in the relationship? Is there a way to ‘fix’ it?
Yes, there is a way. And, actually, there is more than one way. But couples have to be prepared to work together to become close again. It takes two to make the relationship a happy one.
So, what should you do? Here are five steps to make your marriage a happier one.
1. Communicate with each other.
This doesn’t mean talk about what you watched on television the night before, or what your child did at school that day, although these topics are also very important. It means that you should talk about your feelings, what annoys you, what you think should change in the relationship, and more importantly, what makes you happy. And, this communication should be done without raising voices or shouting. Even when talking about problems and things that annoy you, you should both communicate gently, quietly, and respectfully.
2. Discuss the important things, like finances.
This is a topic that most couples fight about, and a marriage can become very unhappy if there isn’t discussion, and agreement, on something as important as financial matters. Ideally this discussion should be done before you get married or start living together. However, sometimes it gets overlooked, so discussion should take place as soon as money starts to look like a problem. You need to agree on all financial and other important decisions, so be ready to compromise sometimes.
3. Take a break from each other.
Yes, that’s right. It’s difficult to be with the same person every day for years without getting tired of seeing them every time you turn around. So, every now and then, when it’s needed, take some time out. It can be just a few hours, like going out with your friends and not your spouse, or it can be something a bit longer, like a long weekend away visiting your parents, or a week’s vacation with the children but without your husband (or wife). After the break, you’ll be happy to see each other’s face again, and you’ll also have some new things to talk about together.
4. Spend time together.
On the opposite end of the scale we have couples who don’t spend enough time together. This can be due to both having hectic work schedules, running around with the children for their activities, or something else entirely. Whatever it is, sometimes you need to put everything else on hold and just spend some time together. Put yourselves first. Go out for dinner together (without the children), go for a drive in the country and sit under a tree for an hour and share happy memories, or plan new ones, or send the children to their grandparents’ and take a week’s vacation together.
5. Finally, the secret to a happier marriage is to support each other.
Listen to what the other is saying and offer them the support they need. It can be emotional support, financial support, or physical support. If they’re tired because they work really hard, offer to cook for them, or to do some of their other chores so they can rest for a while. If they need to talk, listen. You don’t have to do more than that sometimes, it can be enough.
The important thing to remember is that although you’re a couple, you are two individual people who each have their own needs. Learn to communicate and listen to each other, and follow through with what you both need to keep the marriage on track. Happiness will come with patience, understanding and support.
Looking for a little Marriage Spice? Checkout I Want More Baby to spice it up.
